This email was forwarded to me by my brother Donny. I find it to be very funny and entertaining. Remember: We all make mistakes!
Those wonderful Church Bulletins!
These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:-----------------The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.-----------------The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.-----------------Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.-----------------Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.-----------------Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.-----------------Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.-----------------For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.-------------------Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.-----------------------Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.-----------------------A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.----------------------At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.-----------------------Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.-----------------------Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.-----------------------The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.-----------------------Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.-----------------------The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.-----------------------This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.-----------------------Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.-----------------------The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.-----------------------Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.--------------------------The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.--------------------------Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.Please use large double door at the side entrance.--------------------------The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
- Tommy
I couldn,t stop laughing.Funniest thing I have seen all year.Please tell your brother Donny a big thank you for the truly funny82 gaffes.Terrific.
Lee -
Monday, February 18, 2013
Tommy
ReplyDeleteI couldn,t stop laughing.Funniest thing I have seen all year.Please tell your brother Donny a big thank you for the truly funny82 gaffes.Terrific.
Lee